In a previous blog, we outlined what self-esteem is and how it is developed. Now it is time to reflect on what our role is in a child’s self-esteem and how we impact it.

Those whose opinion matters most to us directly affects how we view ourselves and determines our level of self-esteem.

As parents, guardians, and educators, we are the primary role model in a child’s daily life. As a result, we greatly impact a child’s sense of self.
The influence of family and early child educators in the first few years of life is undeniably the most important part in creating a solid foundation for positive self-esteem. Regardless of how the family is identified, the most critical task is working together in the best interest of the child.
Most importantly, how we view and treat ourselves directly affects how we treat others. People who exhibit a positive self-esteem are usually more self-assured, resilient, and willing to take chances that lead to positive outcomes.  Consequently, those with a low self-esteem often second guess themselves, worry what others think, and may feel somehow “less than” as compared to others. They are fearful of taking chances that could potentially lead to positive results.

The power of our thoughts, words and actions cannot be underestimated.

We have a choice to be positive and grateful or we have the choice to be negative and fearful. Your thoughts, words and actions have power. We can lead with thoughts and words that are based in hope, inspiration, and empowerment, or they can be fearful, hateful, and debilitating. In other words, we have the choice and the power to either create or to suppress.

Many of us fear failure.  As a result of that fear, we sabotage ourselves from taking chances, from learning, from growth, and from success and development.
Most importantly, we need to understand and learn from failure as it can be a very important aspect of our growth process.             

Meanwhile, for those who have illusions of maintaining control over their kids, this can be difficult. For instance, many of us attempt to control our emotions, our growth, our situations, and our children. We spend a great deal of time and energy attempting to control outcomes. Moreover, we often sabotage ourselves and our children. I am sure you have heard the saying: the tighter we try to hold onto or control someone or something, the more out of control the situation becomes.

As we know, there are many moving parts that lead to self-confidence which begins and ends with clarity, focus, intentions, accountability, along with taking inspired action towards achieving successful outcomes.

We can all strive to improve and make positive changes for our self and for our children. Below are 10 steps we can utilize from my latest book, Promoting Positive Self-Esteem in Children.  Subsequently, the book goes into greater detail, but I wanted to provide the steps for you here.

10 Steps to Positive Self Esteem:

1. Communicate with Clarity and Positivity
2. Everyone on the Same Page
3. Provide Consistency and Accountability
4. Allow Them to Experience the Natural Consequences That Arise from Their Choices
5. Learning from our Failures and Shortcomings
6. Encourage Good Behavior and Avoid Reinforcing Bad Behavior
7. Provide Opportunities for Your Child to Succeed
8. Love Them Anyway
9. Understand and Implement Positive Affirmations and Positive Self Talk
10. Implement the Emotional Guidance System



I am an advocate who believes that everything begins from the inside.  Above all, once we are willing to be accountable for our thoughts, words, and actions, we can role model those positive changes to our children whether we are a parent, guardian, or an educator.  We know children learn by watching, so the question becomes, what are we saying, teaching and role modeling?

To find out more ways to promote positive self esteem, check out my new book here:  Promoting Positive Self Esteem in Children


If you enjoyed this blog, I hope you will take the time to leave a comment and share it with others.
We are preparing to launch Bridging the Gap Training courses where we are bridging the gap between you and your child through implementation of positive emotional growth, socialization and overcoming stress. I look forward to meeting you and working with you as we all begin working together towards Bridging the Gap!

Namaste’ my friend



Terry J. Walker has a Master of Arts Degree in Educational Psychology and Counseling. She is a Success Coach, and a Jack Canfield Success Principles Trainer. She has over 10 years of experience in the medical sales and customer service industry and over 15 years of experience in the mental health field working with children, adolescents and families in counseling and program development with emphasis on dual diagnoses, addiction, depression, and abuse.
In addition, Terry is a member of the Champion Mindset Mentor Group and the Motivational Speaker Bureau, and has shared stages with legends such as Les Brown, Nick Bollettieri, Bernard Hiller, and Brian Tracy.